Joining Forces: Stories of Belonging in Real Life Workplaces
Key Takeaways
Experiencing workplace belonging happens when coworkers were spending time together, whether that was collaborating effectively on a project or getting to know each other on a personal level.
Workplace belonging was often associated with feeling like you have what you need to be successful in your role and that your efforts are meaningful and recognized.
A lack of workplace belonging was most often experienced when conflicts arose at work, typically related to mistreatment, exclusion, and differences of identity, values, or opinions.
Experiencing a lack of workplace belonging was associated with feeling disengaged, unwanted, and frustrated with a workplace, whether due to how it is run or how the people who work there behave.
Working Together:
Workplace Belonging is Experienced as Collaboration and Achievement
The average American will spend close to fifty years in the workforce. Our workplace experiences and colleagues have a significant impact on our well-being and our lives, yet when asked to describe situations in which they had experienced workplace belonging, many respondents had never really thought about it before. Those who had experienced workplace belonging most often described situations where they were working effectively with their coworkers. These were occasions where the entire team pitched in to accomplish a seemingly insurmountable goal, or times when they supported each other with difficult clients or problems. Workplace belonging was also experienced when respondents were able to spend meaningful time together, including time spent celebrating holidays, recognizing staff accomplishments, sharing meals, and having casual conversations about their lives outside of work. Receiving positive feedback and generally being treated well by their colleagues were also associated with experiencing workplace belonging.
Workplace belonging was most frequently experienced as a feeling of being wanted or valued at work. There were many respondents who described how meaningful it was when others took notice of their contributions and how it motivated them to work harder. For example, one respondent described, “My coworkers and I run like a well-oiled machine and we all enjoy our work together. Workdays are never a drag because we have all become friends by going through the trenches. I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I have the respect of my colleagues, and I get along well with the people around me” (Man, 27). Another respondent who typically works alone shared this experience with a client:
I tune pianos. Recently, someone made the comment to me that I need to take better care of myself because they can't have me die on them. I am the only piano tuner in a town of about 90k. This alone made me feel like I mattered, belonged, was on people's minds in a positive way. I look forward to being people's "hero" because I make their piano sound new again. It's nice to feel needed. (Man, 61)
Volunteers can also experience workplace belonging when their contributions are explicitly noted and appreciated. This respondent shared their experience, “I have volunteered for an organization for 20 years where I clean the building every other week. All of the full time employees have their names printed in colored ink by their doors. I went in one day and someone had written my name with ‘First Impression Specialist’ underneath it. I felt very valued and liked” (Woman, 56)
Feeling cared for outside of the office was also a part of feeling wanted and valued. This respondent shared, “When I had surgery last year, so many people reached out to me and provided love and support. One individual even brought a care package to my house. It made me feel loved and cared for because people took time out of their day to message and check up on me” (Woman, 29).
Workplace belonging was also associated with feeling like others were rooting for you, both as an active employee, but also when transitioning out of roles. One respondent reflected on their first day on the job, “On my very first day at my current employer, everyone was so welcoming and supportive, and it was genuine. It made me feel comforted and happy because I truly felt like everyone there was on my side and wanted me to succeed” (Man, 29). Another reflected on a coworker’s last day, “We celebrated a coworker’s retirement. We all felt belonging and accomplished as we worked side by side together. It felt great knowing that this person worked hard, accomplished a lot and was now looking forward to relaxing times” (Man, 38).
Working adults typically spend at least one-third of their days commuting to or at their places of work and it is heartening to observe that these places can provide a sense of belonging through collaboration, achievement, and recognition. However, many respondents also had experiences of feeling like they did not belong at work.
Stuck Together:
Lacking Workplace Belonging is Experienced as being Disengaged, Disposable, and Frustrated
Many respondents were ambivalent about finding belonging at work. They simply wanted to do their jobs and go home. But, for those who had experienced a lack of belonging, the situations often involved tensions regarding their values and identities. Situations in which respondents felt like the only person of a particular race, gender, or who held particular views were frequently mentioned. Respondents also tended to share times when they had been mistreated at work, including times when they had been bullied or received poor treatment in terms of their pay, schedule, or how feedback was shared with them. Lastly, respondents often experienced a lack of workplace belonging when they had experienced exclusion at work. These instances of exclusion ranged from times when they had been excluded from outings like lunches or after-work activities, all the way to being excluded from important conversations and decision making. It is also noteworthy that some of the experiences that respondents described went beyond a mere lack of belonging to situations alleging illegal discrimination. While we recognize the harm and hardship that those respondents experienced, we have omitted those stories from this work due to their extreme and sensitive nature.
Respondents who experienced a lack of workplace belonging often described it as feeling disconnected or disengaged. For example, one respondent described, “At my new job, employees already had groups of friends that they stuck to and made it difficult to join, while managers acted too good to even talk to me, every single day. I felt like an outcast undeserving of their time and attention” (Man, 29). Another respondent shared that they lacked workplace belonging when, “Decisions were made regarding team structure and responsibilities and I was not informed or consulted regarding the change. I felt abandoned and like my insight was not valued” (Woman, 38).
As referenced earlier, these feelings of disconnect were sometimes associated with how respondents’ identities and circumstances were acknowledged or valued in the workplace. For example, one respondent shared, “We had a company dinner for all employees, temps, and regular staff. All the food was gone by the time I got there. I felt left out. I work in the back and have a disability that causes me to be slow. They should have made sure that everyone got a plate” (Woman, 57).
Another respondent shared their feelings on not being supported by leadership, “I work as a nurse in a veterinary clinic. We are very high volume and often nurses are looked down upon and receive rude remarks from clients. When reported to ownership, there is no accountability. This makes nurses feel unappreciated as we work extremely hard daily” (Woman, 30).
Identity and other individual characteristics continued to play a role in how respondents experienced a lack of belonging and feeling unwanted. This respondent described their experience of being looked over for promotion, “I have applied for promotion a few times and was unsuccessful. My company has a history of age discrimination and tends to promote strong extroverts, and I am introverted. I did not feel like the totality of my knowledge and experience was considered, and the failure to provide post interview feedback, which is standard process, almost prompted me to leave the company” (Man, 53).
Respondents who experienced a lack of workplace belonging often reported feeling angry at their treatment and the sense that they are being devalued. As this respondent shared, “Managers create more work unnecessarily for employees because of their lack of communication and the inefficiency of said decisions. I feel frustrated and stuck because benefits are tied to employment which makes it difficult to look elsewhere for employment” (Man, 40). Another expressed, “I work for the township and there are directors and higher-ups who talk down to you. Most think that because you have a receptionist job it's because you are ‘less than’” (Woman, 52).
Difficult power dynamics can also affect workplace belonging. For example, “In my last job, my direct supervisor was an information hoarder who would regularly withhold information as a means of establishing power. She would isolate people by withholding the information they needed to successfully do their jobs and then punish them for it. When I was the target of such withholding, I felt very isolated and like I was being set up. I was made to feel stupid for asking clarifying questions” (Woman, 33).
Workplaces across America are where some of our most diverse and varied interactions occur. These spaces have the opportunity to generate a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and connection among their employees, but only if their cultures and processes are shaped with intention, inclusion, and care. We invite you to reflect on how you can contribute to a culture of belonging in your workplace.
Thank you for reading. Check out the other stories in this series...
